This part of Jesus' life and ministry is, as I indicated in the last blog entry, difficult for me to comment upon. It is a very personal part of my christian life and one that is difficult to explain to anyone else. Each person's experience at the cross is unique to them. Up till now, we have been following the words of the gospel writer as he chronicled the life and ministry of Jesus. But at the cross, we each have our own part to play. There is a decision to be made to accept the sacrifice that Jesus made for you or to walk away unchanged. As a christian, each fresh look at these verses is a chance for reflection on the awesome Love of our Savior and a rekindling of our dedication to live for Him who died for us.
As you read John's account of the crucifixion, keep in mind that you get an eye witness account. He has been near Jesus all night. Now in chapter 19, John follows to the foot of the cross as is shown in verses 25 - 27 when Jesus says "Behold thy mother" and commends Mary into his care. John also makes sure, in verse 35, to state that "he that saw it bare record and his record is true" when he attests to the fact that the scripture prophesies are fulfilled (Psalm 22:18, Psalm 34:20, and Zechariah 12:10). It's not clear whether John was still present when Jesus body was removed from the cross and given into the care of Joseph and Nicodemus, however I think it is likely that he was. He was now the protector of Jesus' mother and would have been supporting her in her grief. I cannot imagine Mary leaving without making sure her beloved son's body was cared for and where He was laid to rest.
So when you read John 19, you get a first hand account of what happened when Jesus died for your sins. Make no mistake... the soldiers did not kill Him, Pilate did not take Jesus' life and the Sanhedrin, for all their hatred, did not murder Him. Jesus, on the cross, laid down His life just as He said He would in chapter 10:17-18 when He said He was the Good Shepherd. He waited until He could say "it is finished" and then He "gave up the ghost" (v.30). He was not killed for you.... He died for you. There is a difference! Why would He do this? "For God so Loved the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son..." He died because He loves you, He died so that you might have forgiveness of sins and gain Eternal Life. And this is where it gets personal because conviction of sin is a part of your own personal story. All the details of Jesus death on the cross lead us each to a confrontation of our own inner self and shines a light on dark areas of our souls that we hesitate to look upon. But when we "confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9). This is as personal as anything ever gets, this is a "heart to heart" between you and the Son of God.
There is something else that John's gospel account leads us to consider. In chapter 14, in the verses about the vine and the branches, Jesus urges us to let Him be the vine that supplies us with life-giving growth. As the verse above says "Christ lives in me". If we accept that gift that was so freely and lovingly given, we are changed. Our sinful self dies that day on the cross with Jesus and He gives us a new life in Him. But that part is hard to comprehend all at once. We leave the cross but then we end up living with a ghost of the sinful nature we were formerly enslaved to. But it doesn't have to remain that way! Read Galatians 5:19-25. It tells us what to watch for as the "works of the flesh" (those things that are trying to live like ghosts in our lives) and tells us what we can expect to see as the "fruits of the Spirit" (those things that come alive in us as we draw from the power Jesus gave us at the cross). "If we Live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit" Galatians 5:25.
Whether this is the first time we have read the verses that describe the death of Jesus or the 100th time, we go away changed. We have viewed the cross on which our Savior paid the death penalty for our sins and this verse in Galatians gives us some words to guide us as we leave....
"the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave Himself up for me"